Dear Caleb,
Well it's that time again to start things ALL over again for the 6th time without you. While others get to anticipate bubbly and fun ideas for the new year like: getting fit, loosing weight, trying a new talent, picking up an old talent, learning a new language... I get the same things year after year. It never changes, the dates, the holidays... it's all the SAME, and I am growing very tired of it all and it is making me more and more restless! I have already done this all 5 times, I already know what is coming, what to expect, and the results are always the same... Painful on my body and soul, and it is getting old and I am ready for change- Something to be different... ANYTHING!
I do not like where we live, I do not like our house, I do not like our yard, I do not like that there are no jobs, I do not like that we are having to do another year without you, I do not like that I am so much like the green eggs and ham book. There is just so much in life that I just do not like and very very little that I do. So since my circumstances and surrounds are not changing or going away anytime soon this will be my New Years resolution:
Instead of saying I do not like where we live, I will tell myself, I like living where I am because it is peaceful.
Instead of saying I do not like our house, I will tell myself, I like our house because it is safe and warm.
Instead of saying that I do not like our yard, I will tell myself, I like our yard because at least it's another place for us to enjoy being together.
Instead of telling myself that I do not like that there are no jobs, I will tell myself, at least we have a job where we can take care of ourselves and pay our bills.
Instead of telling myself that I do not like that we have to do a whole new year again without you, I will tell myself, at least we are one year closer to you.
There you have it Caleb my New Years resolutions. I suppose if change isn't going to be coming like I have been waiting, hoping, dreaming for, then I will be the change- for each negative thought I will stop and change it to something realistic and more upbeat.
Love you, Love Always Your Momma
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I hadn't seen any posts from you recently and just wanted to say that I hope you are doing okay. Do not be afraid to get help. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but I think you are trying to hard and sometimes it's good to have a professional to help you move forward and see things in different ways. Saying a prayer that you are doing well.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to take a moment to say Thank You for your comment. What a gift it was to come across your sweet and kind message. I truly appreciate you taking the time to think of me and leaving with me such caring support and words of wisdom. Thank you also for needed prayer, God Bless :)Tanya
ReplyDelete