~~We LOVE The Gospel Of Jesus Christ~~

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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Forgot to Post Memories

Tamara remembers that Caleb liked to tuck his legs into his pajama shirts.

Liahona remembers that Caleb would always open up glass jars for her. Because they were too tight for her, but not for her strong brother.

Mom remembers how Caleb would put himself in time out if he did something wrong, or did something he thought would place him in time out. Then Mom or Dad would walk by and see him sitting in time out and ask him "What are you doing?" And Caleb would say, "Sitting in time out." Then Mom or Dad would say "Ok, did you learn your lessons?"....while holding back giggles. Caleb would say, "Yes." And then Mom or Dad would tell him he could come off time out then, and that we loved him.

Dad remembers fighting with light sabers with Caleb while listening to the 'Dual of the Fates' from Star Wars Episode 1 cd.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Miracle Month...



Dear Caleb,
I can't believe that we are only going on the third month since you graduated from this world, because it seems like so much longer then that. My body hurts and aches nonstop everyday, just reminding me in everyway that life will never be the same again.... and how could it? Without your physical presence here, it is so hard, and so very weird to not have you near to hug and squeeze, and kiss you goodnight. I miss doing our neat handshake that we made up each night, as I would tuck you into bed. I miss having your cars and toys laying around to trip over. I miss having you get Monety out of bed each morning and turning on PBS kids for the girls. The hurt and ache are so strong most days, that trying to move through life without you just brings me to tears. I have just wished and prayed to know that you are still near us, because we so desparately still need you, our Buddy Boy.
(Of which the Lord was mindful of my prayer, and answered it this month.) This is how he answered us:
This summer while being in Nauvoo after your Baptism, I placed our small red samsung camera in the diaper bag, because the memory was all full. Later, I remember taking it out as I digging for a toy for Montey to play with. And as we were unpacking once we got home I could not find that small read camera anywhere. I didn't worry too much about it at first. Thinking that we would run into it sometime with unpacking, but It never showed. Then the accident happened, and I realized that the ONLY pictures we had from your 8th birthday was on that camera. I felt So sick to my stomach. We had NO pictures of you turning 8. Pictures mean the world to me, and to loose your last birthday year, made my head swirl. I could not believe that I would not have those memories for the rest of my life. I called the visitors centers, all the hotels, for months and still no one had seen the small red camera. It had been 4 long months,and the chances of finding that camera was very slim on my own. I didn't know where to find it, but I knew the Lord did. And to find this camera would mean the world to me, just to have those non-replacable memories back would bring me so much comfort.
It was a Sunday night when we watched the movie "The Prince of Egpyt." And there was a song that said "There can be miracles, when you believe..." And that night I prayed ever so hard, that somehow, that someway, the Lord would help bring this camera back to me.
The next Morning I thought to check the bags and backpacks that we took, that we had already check many, many times. They were always empty because we have already unpacked everything months ago. As I went to zip open the back pack carrier, out flew our small read samsung camera. Both Eric and I have looked through that back pack and it was not there before. It was a PURE MIRACLE, that's all there is to it.
Caleb I know that you were always very mindful of us. You never liked to see anyone hurting. So I would like to think that it must have been you that picked up our camera, and placed it in a spot that you knew we would find it. And we can not thankyou enough for bring this miracle into our lives, to let us know that you ARE there and that you are STILL with us.
I DO believe in miracles, and know that they can and will happen when we believe, even if something has been lost for 4months. The Lord is so mindful of what we need to help us heal, and feel his love. I will ever be so grateful for this miracle in our family's life.
We Love you Caleb, Love your Mommy

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Caleb's Corner

We went to Caleb's Corner (the crash site), this Monday for family night. Something that I have been feeling the need to go and do, but didn't have strength to do it until now. It was named by our best friends, which are our Nebraska cousins, The Draper Family. Our 4 kids have done everything with them and their 4 kids since we moved here. It's not every often when you find a family where there is one friend for each of your children. We have been greatly blessed.
Going to Caleb's Corner was very awkward needless to say. As we got closer you could feel everyone's anxiety, as silence filled our car, not even a peep from Montey. There is just over 1/4 of a mile that I do not remember driving from the accident. There was one part before that when I was driving with Caleb where I had deja vu. I had seen a person's tall ranch sign before, like I had been to that place before, which I had not. I had slight hopes this past Monday, that perhaps I would remember that rest of that road, but that was not to be. Eric says that it was part of my body's defence mechanism. It still drives me crazy not knowing what really happened. Perhaps someday it will come back to me.

Here is the cross and flowers that we got in honor of Caleb. We noticed that 2 bunches of yellow flowers were already there when we arrived, which really touched and warmed our hearts. There is no place like Nebraska, the people here are amazingly kind and thoughtful.


Here is us at Caleb's Corner.


This was actually a mistake picture that was taken, but I love it. It has the feeling of all three of our spirits together, Caleb's cross, and the shadow of Eric and I. Not to mention the three trees in the background.


Thanks for all your continued love and support. We appreciate all your prayers, we can feel them carrying us each day. As we know that this strength is not our own, but is from the Lord above. We could NOT continue living each day if it were not for his loving grace. This is so hard to carry from day to day, but we know that he is making it a little easier and a little lighter for us. In which we are ever so grateful. So THANK YOU for the very much NEEDED prayers, Love The Mathison's