Full of Thanks

Dear Caleb,
Today is November 24Th, and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We are on our second round of Holidays without you physically here with us. Each one is such a low blow for me, it is just a "nice" reminder of what we currently don't have right now; A complete family. Our family of 6; with our 2 boys and and 2 girls together. It makes it hard to be thankfully for the now, but it makes me VERY thankful for the THEN. We are super excited and anxious for the THEN; so much more, that we seem to have very little patience for the now.

"I take pleasure in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."( 2Corinthians 12:10) We have felt the weakness of the body; for without Christ we surely have no strength, no joy, and no hope. Elder Dallin H Oaks said that, "The healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ is available for every affliction in mortality." Caleb, we have felt this healing power, and as you know we are not a family that lies. It is a real power, a real strength that can come to us if we just have faith. Elder Oaks said, "Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to him who loves us best. Sometimes a 'healing' cures our illness, or lifts our burdens. But sometimes we are 'healed' by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us." Caleb, I never thought that by being given strength would be considered a healing power until now. It is a different healing than what I was hoping for to be honest. I wished that I had enough faith to bring you back, even just for a second to tell you how much my heart feels for you, and to whisper how sorry I am for the way that we parted. If I were as ready as you were, I would be with you, but I apparently am not, seeing that I am still here. Because of that, I know that I have much to work on. Hoping to do better each day to be worthy to come home and be with you someday. In 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul came to the Lord 3 times asking to be healed from a "thorn in the flesh" that greatly bothered him. The Lord did not remove it, but gave him strength to live with it. Helping him to always remember that in our weak moments if we look to the Lord they will become our strengthens because of his grace and love for us.

Elder Oaks says, "At times we may despair that our burdens are too great, when it seems that a tempest is raging in our lives, we may feel abandoned and cry out like the disciple in the storm, 'Master carest thou not that we perish?' At such times we should remember his reply: 'Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith' ?" Caleb, it is irritating how much I let my mind dwell on doubt, when I know better. Every fiber of my being tells me that I know how much we are known and loved by the Lord. It is only then when I have stepped away with doubt, that makes me feel abandoned from his loving arms. And when I can't take the feeling of feeling so utterly alone I drop to my knees in tears pleading for strength, and it is in that moment when I turn to him, that I feel his supporting arms still stretched out for me.

Elder Neal A Maxwell said, "Some have trials to pass through while still others have allotments that are to live with. Paul lived with his 'thorn in the flesh'. Varied as our allotments may be, we can still keep the commandments of God." I have come to understand, that we will either shrink away from the Lord, or we will swell with joy in the Lord; as we continue to push forward with the allotments that we have been entrusted to us to grow. Keeping the commandments is not just merely something that we do, it has a stronger purpose; for it is something that we DESIRE to do. We need the strength from the Lord, and it is a small sacrifice to show the Lord that we are deserving of it. Caleb, I often wonder how Mary lived with the 'thorn in her flesh' with knowing everything that she did about Jesus. In Luke 2:19 It says that she "Kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." Elder Neal A Maxwell said that Pondering often precedes contentment. Her thorn was great but she was able to find peace with it and be content. Caleb, my goal during these Holiday seasons it to be more like Mary, with being content. Finding and Keeping that contentment through Christ, as I strive to do my part in keeping the commandments, and choose to finish this work that we have been called to do.

We love you greatly Caleb, our buddy boy. Happy Thanksgiving. Love Your Mommy

Memories:
Tamara remembers how much Caleb loved gum.

Liahona remembers playing battleship with Caleb downstairs during a bad thunderstorm/ tornado warning in 2008. She also remembers how her and Caleb went to go wake up Tamara to bring her downstairs as mom watched the news. She remembers how Caleb woke up Tamara by lightly pinching her arms up and down.... which always worked.

Mom (Tanya) remembers when Caleb was little how he liked to watch Elmo's World with Mr. Noodle.

Dad (Eric) remembers how much Caleb loved to eat grapefruit.

5 Months Old

When it was November 23rd of 2001 you were 5months old. It was starting to get really cold in Cheney Washington. I remember one sunday it was snowing and we went to chruch at our 11am time, and there was another ward there. We couldn't figure it out for a long time, as we sat waiting for someone from our ward, when we over heard someone talking about Daylight Savings time ended the night before. And your father and I looked at eachother and realized that we were an hour early for church, so we went home.

Things you were starting to do at this time were:
(still trying to find book, will fill in soon.)

Pies for You

Hi Caleb, Tamara and I made theses pies out of playdough for you. They each say "To Caleb." We love you, Love Liahona



I, made this too, it says "We love Nebraska."