~~We LOVE The Gospel Of Jesus Christ~~

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Sunday, March 29, 2015

Palm Sunday Chat

Dear Caleb,
So I am sitting here with you this Palm Sunday on this Easter week, how much I needed this week to come, to remind me of all of that can and will become ours someday.
I have a hard time with the words joy and happiness, everytime I try to say those words they get choked up in my throat and they cannot come out.
I wish those words only had one meaning for everyone to use in discribing how they feel but sadly that is not so. Trivial,
superficial, come to my mind when I hear people use those words, mainly because at one time I was that kind of a
person, for I knew not what it meant for one to have real happiness or real joy.
I shutter whenever I hear a lesson, or a sermon, or a talk about these subjects. I try to discern through their words to see if it is a superficial or if it is a deeper meaning but really it is not my place to judge where they find their source of joy or so called happiness. One who knows not the bitter cannot understand a deeper sense of joy and happiness, for me I cannot use those words joy or happiness because it does not show depth,  it does not go deep enough, so how do I explain it? It is the gift of peace and contentment that helps make one more whole. Yes, it is this very week that gives me the source of foucs and strength with the much needed gift of peace and contentment in a world full of ups and down and unwanted circumstances and experiences.
Shallow happiness cannot sustain one through the bitter circumstances that one goes through in this life. I suppose that is why I cringe when people talk about happiness and joy I just wish deep down inside that it is strong enough to help carry them when their heart is broken and their world is turn upside down. Superficial happiness will not sustain one with a desire to keep living, it must come from deep within. I quickly learned that things did not hold any value or come close to putting a smile on my broken heart.Sadly, because nothing outside of me could ever fix what had happened.
But this Easter week reminds my heart where my gift of peace and contentment come from. I'm thankful for that. Yes, I am definitely thankful for that. I am glad that this week has finally come, it is my saving grace, it is my breath of fresh air, it is my reason to keep living. It speaks to my heart and says I can do this, that I can smile for I have been given the gift of peace and contentment that comes from this time- Easter.

Love You Caleb, Thank you for letting me sit and visit with you in person today, my heart needed it, I am missing you. Love Your Mommy