...I will ease your burdens...

Dear Caleb,
Oh sweet Caleb, Caleb, Caleb... my heart aches miserably inside for you, for us; for the desire of having all to be made right. I am not ready for next month, I am dreading it with every ounce of fiber in my being. Yet, I know it will come nevertheless. So I might as well accept the fact and prepare this broke heart of mine, that I may not impede the progress and growth that the Lord has for us. It doesn't make this situation any easier though, it is just a choice one has to make to continue to move forward. For without knowing the bitter, we could not understand the sweet.

As a family we went to Montana, to the family property that we haven't been back too since you were with us. You were 5, Liahona was 4, and Tamara was 2 last time that we went there as a family. It was hard but enjoyable to be back there; where you can feel close to family on both sides of the veil. It is a place of reverence and love. I feared that I wouldn't be able to handle the 2 week trip away from home, but the Lord granted me strength and help so that I could feel of his love; allowing me to be content and not hindering with building new family memories- seeing that this was Montey's first time being there. I took so many pictures to bring that sacred place home with us. It truly was a joy of a trip.

While I was up there at the family property I reading the Book of Mormon, in Mosiah chapter 24, it was a time when the people of the Lord and Alma their prophet, was being ruled by a wicked leader named Amulon. He told the people of God that they could not pray out loud to their God or else he would kill them; but the people didn't stop praying, they continued to pray in their hearts for help and for deliverance from bondage. In verses 13 through15 it says, "And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage. And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions. And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully with patience to all the will of the Lord."

This scripture truly was written to help me to see more clearly. Though our burden is not with the physical burden of wicked leaders; ours is in: this temporary separation, heat ache, depression, guilt, and disappointment. The Lord granted ease to Alma and his people because of their love and devotion to God whom lives above. These are they who have entered into the waters of baptism, creating a covenant; meaning a two way promise. I took comfort as I re-read, "I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me: and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage." You, Dad, Liahona, and I have entered into this covenant. And I know that the Lord is strongly aware of our devotion to do his will, and because of that, I know that he has stretched forth his merciful loving arm towards us; to bring us ease. People have told us that trough 'time' things will get better, but I have come to understand it differently. It is not that through time things get better on their own; it is through time that we come to understand and learn that we can actually live with this unwanted burden. It is not because of our strength that we are able to make things better, because that is impossible; there is nothing within ourselves to change the outcome of the past. It is because of Christ that allows us to be lifted on higher ground, even when the circumstances are unfavorable.

This is our final test of all, to do as the people of Alma did; "They did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." Elder Neal A Maxwell, a former member of the 12 apostles said, "Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best- better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God's omniscience, as if, as some seem to believe, God were on some sort of postdoctoral fellowship..." Knowing that our burden has been made light, we cannot but rejoice in the Lord; For truly we are slowly being brought out of our bondage. I just pray that, we as a family, may wait with patience on the Lord, with obtaining the desires of our hearts- in being an eternal family.

Much Loves to you Buddy Boy,
Love Your Mommy

Memories:

Tamara remembers, how You loved to play with your squirt guns and spray bottles; especially with your sisters.

Liahona remembers, how You always wanted a pet snake.

Mom remembers, how You liked to play bowling with plastic cups and a small rubber ball.

Dad remembers, how You would often talk him into jumping on the trampoline with you.