~~We LOVE The Gospel Of Jesus Christ~~

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Friday, March 26, 2010

7 Long Ones

Dear Caleb,
There are many dates coming upon us this Spring of which will be very hard to get through. We are not looking forward to have them come without you "physically" here with us, to celebrate together. Montey will be 2 next month. Remember how grouchy he was for his 1st birthday? And how he didn't even want cake and ice cream because he just wanted a nap? Remember how you helped him blow out his candles with your sisters and dad? Montey is still not sleeping through the night. I often wonder at night if it would still wake you up, and cause you to loose sleep... though you never were bothered by it. You were such a happy loving brother that you would often bet me to help Montey at night if I didn't get in there fast enough. I often wonder if I would still have to pick you up at night and put you in the girl's room on the floor so you could get a descent night's rest every once in awhile. I know Montey misses his Brother, and sleeping buddy.
And the Girls,............ they still long for their fun energized silly brother to play with again. There isn't a day that has gone by without a memory being added to your memory journals. It's always, "Remember when Caleb did this"...., and "Remember how Caleb did that".....
And for your dad,............. I know he aches like crazy inside. Yesterday Liahona earned all her school stickers on her chart and it was her turn to go out with dad. They went bowling, something that you loved to do. She sat in the car with him, and I know that he must have reflected on the time that the two of you would go out golfing together. I know he misses you terribly!
And as for me, your mother,...........It literally kills me with internal pain inside. I may look fine on the outside but if you really sat down to talk to me, the wall would just break down with how much this just hurts to have your presence gone from us. I try so hard not to be bitter, angry, and jealous of others; I have had a lot of repenting to do from my lack of strength. If you would have asked me if I thought I would have gotten this trial, I would have told you... "Oh that happens to other people, not me." And yet here I am, in the worst nightmare that I never thought I would be given, nor ready. But who is ever READY for such a trial. I have come to realize that because many do not have this hard trial to face with loosing a personal loved one with learning about the gift of eternal life; that the Lord created animals for us to love. To take into our homes, join us as part of our families, and then see them go. Helping us understand in a small measure of the pain of loss, and to think and ponder about what it would be to lose a loved one. Hopefully teaching and preparing us to always be willing to do what the Lord asks of us, because really HE "IS" the one who knows EVERYTHING. And I am so glad he does Caleb, SO GLAD! Because of my insignificant knowledge and understand of this, I have no choice but to further put my trust on my Savior Jesus Christ.
Easter time is coming and because it hits so close to home it's just another one of those hard dates coming up. I am so grateful for my Savior coming down and fulfilling the Work of Our Father in Heaven, to help us all to be able to come back and live with him again. What if he didn't do all that for us? Say for a minute that there was no Savior? That Jesus's death and crucifixion were not part of the plan for us on this earth. That would make our lives that we live here on earth, all lived in vain, all the knowledge that we obtained, the skills, the talents acquired, all our family ties.... all for nothing, for we would not live again, so once we die that's it our bodies would remain in our earthy graves forever. But this I know, as you know too, that both Death and Resurrection "ARE" part of the plan, the plan to bring true happiness. And because Jesus did come and did die for us, we can be eternally blessed through his infinite atonement, for there is no life lived in vain who have HOPE in Christ.
I am so grateful to know that life is Short and Temporary. For the whole purpose of life is for us to acquire all the knowledge, skills, talents needed to because more like our Savior Jesus Christ, to live with our families and loved ones again. Thank goodness there is a purpose, that there is a way, that we are given this chance to prove ourselves worthy to come home. We are doing our best Caleb, we will NOT fail you, we will be an eternal family someday, hopefully sooner for all our sakes. Love you Our Buddy Boy! =)Love Your Mommy

Memories:

Tamara remembers: How Caleb liked to eat hot cereals for breakfast like: malt'o meal, and oatmeal. He liked the oatmeal packets the best, because they were used on our special family camping trips.

Liahona remembers: How Caleb loved the Primary song called, "I want to be a Missionary Now."

Mom (Tanya) remembers: How Caleb would move his finger up and down really fast over his lips. And would make a really high pitched sound for as long as he could hold his breath, making his face turn Red....(which his mother didn't like.)

Dad (Eric) remembers: How Caleb loved March Madness, and voting for which team would win.